Final Fantasy XV review: it’s not really a Final Fantasy game
I’ve played over 100 hours of Final Fantasy XV and it took me at least the first 50 hours to figure out exactly what bothers me about the game. That’s good, right? I mean, obviously the game isn’t LITERALLY UNPLAYABLE, or I wouldn’t have survived more than 40 hours. And I’m not going to say that the game is bad, because it’s not a bad game. But it is a fundamentally flawed game. I’m reminded of one reviewer who humorously gave it “9.75 out of 10: disappointing and underwhelming,” because there’s a lot of truth to that. This game may be doing relatively well on Metacritic, but from the reactions I’ve seen from the game’s audience, it seems like a different experience could have pushed it even higher.
So here is my unnecessarily long-winded “review” of Final Fantasy XV, which has undergone several revisions over the last six months, and thus may not be as coherent as I’d like, but the next 3,000 or so words should nonetheless be at least moderately entertaining. You’ve been warned.
Uh oh… a serious poem?
Well, this is going to be challenging.
In a culture over-saturated with irony, it’s hard to say something serious and leave yourself vulnerable to criticism, judgment, or even simple interpretation. That’s why I’m at least a bit reluctant to post this poem, because although I did indeed write it ten years ago, it’s strikingly devoid of the irreverence typical of the rest of my work. Was my teacher somehow successful in motivating me to actually attempt a serious poem?
Fortunately, the fact that I wrote this poem ten years ago is akin to a famous actor posting a video of the commercial he did for a local insurance company in Kansas when he was 16, so let’s face it: I can’t be too sensitive about any feedback I receive from anyone. So without further ado, let’s see if I was able to muster any poetic talent after my first couple weeks of a creative writing class (note that my actual poem attempt appears at the bottom half of the page):
The top half is either a rough draft, or random notes… there’s really no way to tell. Either way, feel free to ignore it!
Transcript:
Darkness, stars, shattered dreams
Golden Idol among blindfolded denial
Cry of the Lifestream
Bloodshed of war
Fall of the epic hero
Hardcore
Body falling endlessly
Fallable, Falling, Failing
Hopeless destruction
Ultimate end
Hopeless failure
Goodbye to a friend.
A few things:
- “Lifestream” is a Final Fantasy VII reference, and knowing me, I used “Hardcore” in the context of professional wrestling. So I guess I did go a LITTLE “inside” with this poem.
- I feel like this poem would be awesome at a beat poetry open mic, probably because it doesn’t have an obnoxiously generic rhyming scheme.
- Is this perhaps some kind of analogy for the life of a video game character?
You know what’s weird? I wanted to write some commentary on the poem, so I scrolled up to read it. And seeing it written on a blank white screen in sans serif, Italicized font… well, it made it un-readable to me. Am I totally crazy or what? But seriously, I feel like I can only read this in its original hand-written form, or I’m not able to really “get into it.”
Anyway, what do you think? Is this any “good” or is it just mindless high school drivel? I took the creative writing class to learn how to be more poetic (whatever that means), but I think that at the conclusion of the class, I never really learned whether I was any good at it or if I just got better at feeling like I knew what I was doing. Does that even make sense? Probably not. But I’m going with it anyway.
Clearly, I need to practice writing some more… good thing I’ve got this web site! Thanks for joining me for the ride. As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share my project with anyone you think may be interested. More posts to come soon!
—–
This post is part of Cody’s “10-Year Idea Reunion” series, in which Cody revisits his creative writing class assignments exactly 10 years after writing them. Learn more about Cody’s Idea Reunion and follow him on WordPress to follow along!
Free-flowing thoughts of a high schooler
And now for something completely different!
Apparently, we listened to music in class while writing down a free-flowing stream of thought. I don’t remember what music was playing, but that kind of makes this page of notes more awesome; in fact, go ahead and try to imagine what kind of music I was hearing at the time I wrote this: I’d love to hear your theories!
Actually, I’m very interested in whether you find this interesting at all. When you read the lucid thoughts of a teenager below, are you able to paint yourself a picture of anything? Does it outline any sort of character for you? Or is it all just completely nonsensical?
I understand most of what is below on some level, whether because I’m familiar with the cultural references I make, or because some of it just makes sense on its own (i.e. the part about Irish girls). But do you? Please send me a message or let me know in the comments how you respond to this – I’m quite curious!
In the mean time, I hope you enjoy the free-flowing thoughts of a 17-year-old high school student in a creative writing class:
The free-flowing thought of a 17-year-old. What I wouldn’t give to know what music was playing during this writing exercise…
Transcript:
Suikoden
Captain, making fun of Suikoden
Final Fantasy 6 opera
Celes, Setzer, Gau, Terra,
Locke Edgar, Strago, Relm
Strago / Relm / Shadow connection?
Why is the tape so quiet then
so loud? Crappy player?
Is it the school’s or the teacher’s?
Want to practice with
All-City Musical Orchestra
What the hell is this from?
It’s not very good
Almost sounds Irish, only bad
Brynn’s Irish
I LIKE Irish girls
Now it REALLY sounds Irish
I want to marry an Irish girl – probably a
redhead
I hate Captain’s watch
Why did that just cut off?
What the hell (once again)
It WAS like Ty Cobb
This is like Linkin’ Park
Nice saxophone, nice beat
Cool band, I like it
I need to ask what this is
Who was that woman
singing?
I bet she wasn’t Irish
This sounds like something
off of a soundtrack
Specifically, Lord of the Rings
Gosh that movie sucked
War, blood, violence
I never think the IMAGE
of blood, I usually picture
grey swords clanging together.
This is from the 20’s
I wish I was in love
I kind of AM in love, but in
an ambivalent, restrained
kind of way
I knew that would end
right there
This HARDCORE sounds
like Final Fantasy
That one song… either “We
Three Kings of Orient Are” or
“Tuxedo Kamen Piano Suite”
from Sailor Moon
Really sounds like 3 kings
Too bad that had to end
Secret of Mana time
Very nice… wish I was more
proficient at the piano
It stopped
“Creative juices” made me
think of sex right away
The only things I’ll point out are that “Captain” is the name of my best friend, who took the class with me, and Brynn is the name of another close [always platonic] friend who sat next to me in that class. Their names will come up several times in the future, I’m sure, so you may as well be aware of their existence now.
Please let me know whether this is all completely meaningless to you, or if disjointed personal writing like this sparks something in your imagination! I feel that so many things online today are cut-and-dry, spelled out for you, and not really open to interpretation. I want to know if I’m adding something deeper, or if I’m just adding nonsense to the noise. And please feel free to share with friends if you think any of them would like to add their thoughts!
—–
This post is part of Cody’s “10-Year Idea Reunion” series, in which Cody revisits his creative writing class assignments exactly 10 years after writing them. Learn more about Cody’s Idea Reunion and follow him on WordPress to follow along!
Cody Gough (dot com) 