English ASSignment
There are a few gems scattered among my notes from November 2, 2000:
“Occasionally I read something that isn’t good… like, your papers.”
-My sophomore English teacher
As well as some fun notes I took, including emphasizing “ASSignment” (see image) and writing the following note to myself:
Write a dialog (Cody: Bite me! Jon: Die!)
(like a script) on “Justice”
I wonder how ancient Greek philosophers would feel about the notes I wrote alongside their timeless ideas?
“Bad Ernest Hemingway Movie” Notes
Apparently, I wasn’t a big fan of an Ernest Hemingway movie we watched in my sophomore English class in high school.
First of all, yes, I know I misspelled his name, but thank you for pointing out that mistake I made 12 years ago. But moving along, my teenage brain had some pretty hilarious comments about the film interspersed with my notes:
“A stupid bull was charging some ugly guy in a dream”
Love the specificity there.
“That guy ate bull testacles – what a stupid @$#?!!!”
And here I thought I was an adventurous eater!
“They burn all the mother*$?!@!ing s*@?!! after the festival”
I don’t even think I was complaining about anything… I’m pretty sure I just felt like using excessive profanity.
“Hemmingway [sic] was born & raised in Chicago
Called it a place of wide somethings
and narrow minds”
I’d never lived in Chicago, but at least now I know my notes are accurate: this city is, indeed, a place of narrow minds and – more than anything else – wide somethings.
“Ernie liked boxing, hunting, fishing & shooting”
This isn’t really that funny, but I’m mildly amused that I called him “Ernie” in my notes ^_^
“The crazy Brit bought Red Fox urine”
I’m sure there was an actual context here, as fox urine is probably a thing that has to do with hunting… but I’m not sure if I’m calling Hemingway or someone else “the crazy Brit.” Either way, I rule.
I’ve mentioned in previous posts that our class notes were graded – including this class. So I have no earthly idea how this slipped through the cracks. Maybe I was really testing my teacher to see if she would actually read them? Maybe she didn’t care?
Wow! Now I know how historians feel about the great mysteries of history…
Apocalypse Now: Now Starring Kilgore
We watched “Apocalypse Now” during my junior year of high school. I scanned through several pages of notes, but only one sentence stood out. See if you can find it. I wonder what I had against Kilgore?
Apparently I turned in a paper to my science teacher on January…
Apparently I turned in a paper to my science teacher on January 4, 1998 (I was in 7th grade). From what I can tell, my assignment was to address how to prevent the outbreak of a virus that had recently been found in some horses. But rather than write an entire paper about that, I outlined a simple – and overtly inhumane – outbreak prevention plan in three sentences, and then proceeded to present “fictional story time” to my teacher.
I… can’t believe I turned this in. I must have been the most awesome 7th grader ever to blatantly turn in a ridiculous story instead of actually doing my assigned work. As you can see, I was given a 0/100%. In the teacher’s words: “Sounds good – story was not what I asked for.”
Well played, teacher… well played.
My teacher had a good point, though: the story DOES sound good.
via Tumblr
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in my English notes
Rocksteady from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
At the top of a page of notes I took on October 27, 2000, in my high school sophomore English class, I decided to draw a terrible (awesome) picture of Rocksteady from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Next to it, I wrote:
“He who fights & runs away lives to fight another day!”
-The Shredder, in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon series; also used by Bebop & Rocksteady, a Warthog & a Rhino, respectively… MUTANT Rhino & Warthog, naturally.
When grading my notes later in the semester (yes, our notes were graded), my teacher wrote “? Not relevant” next the drawing. I… have absolutely no explanation for why I drew that. So let’s move on to the quote immediately following my artistic endeavor:
“You all waited too damn long.”
-My teacher, on something
I like how I was too lazy to even attribute the humorous quote to anything specific. Oh, high school.
Analyze THIS!!!
Apparently, at some point during my freshman year of high school, I felt it necessary to include this drawing in my class notes. The text below reads:
Why all the war? All the kings would gain control of is new armies and people and get more burdens than pleasures. I think probably most of the kings / pharaohs / emperors were bored or something.
On the back side of this page are miscellaneous notes about Egyptian mythology, so this must have been from my world history class.
HAIKU X 12 (14?)
I found a sheet of paper simply titled HAIKU X 12, which contained – you guessed it – 12 Haikus, mostly about my friends. There are also two at the bottom of the page that my friend Captain wrote, which are sadly the closest thing to a payoff you’re going to get in this post. If I had to guess, I would say that I wrote these in either 1999 or 2000 (8th or 9th grade).
I should also note that there was one Haiku that had been scribbled out into oblivion. I have no idea what it said.
Was I trying to write 12 or 14? #badhandwriting
Mute Mask is stupid
Karl please shut up right now
That picture is dumb
I hate [NAME REDACTED]
He is ugly and stupid
I want to kill him
My name is Cody
I run The Posse’s Web Page
Please call me The Game
Brad is athletic
He likes wrestling like me
We call him The Rock
Logan likes Star Wars
He is good with computers
He has a Dreamcast
Guy is the smallest
He is sugar-high and fast
He hangs out with Luke
Ron likes Gundam Wing
He always talks about it
He likes Space Ghost too
Chrissy is so loud
I could hit her with a rock
She laughs all the time
[[MYSTERIOUS DELETED HAIKU]]
Jon is really strong
He complains about Cody
Smash Brothers is ****
Nima hates [NAME REDACTED]
He wants to rip his arms off
I also want to
Jon likes RPG’s [sic]
He’s good at multiplayer
He’s cheap with Kirby
Jon’s Haikus at the bottom:
Cody’s poems are dumb
Yet are somewhat accurate
Hamburgers fly high
Cody sucks with nukes
He loses Starcraft a lot
Terrans are Jobbers
Cody Gough (dot net) 